As much as I love my 12-step program, and the 12-step program from which it’s sprung, I must express a rant about what I see as an excessive use of the term, “pulling a geographic.” It’s something you hear a great deal when people talk about their struggles with addiction. For those who may not be familiar with the phrase, it refers to when a person makes a move to a new location, often an entirely different region of the country, in an effort to escape their addiction or unwanted behavior. Obviously, the idea is to make a “fresh start” in a new place, quite possibly a better place (i.e. in terms of climate, visual appeal, etc.), where maybe no one there knows the person and everything is different. Often, the thinking is that “things” or the previous residence, the people in that person’s life, etc. are the cause of the unwanted behavior, so by shedding those burdens, everything will fall into place, and the person can put that part of his or her life behind him or her. And of course, as the story goes, inevitably it doesn’t take long for the very problem the person is trying to escape to come back, often even worse than before. For those lucky enough to finally get real recovery, this outcome at least becomes a worthwhile lesson, to help the person realize that the problem is not going to be solved through external means.
Now without question, there are instances — many of them — in which the impetus to move was indeed impulsive, or at least came from flawed, naive, wishful (you name it) thinking. But surely there are also numerous examples in which the move actually proved helpful? Sure, there may have been the slap-in-the-face realization that recovery would not be such a quick or easy fix, but isn’t it possible that the new environs, if it was more appealing than where they lived before, still set a better stage for recovery? If I’m a nature and outdoors lover, and I’m living in a location in which there aren’t many lovely places (or interest by most who live there) to experience outdoor recreation, and I move to a place that is bustling with stunning scenery and a culture that embraces the active outdoor lifestyle, aren’t I more likely to recover even as I realize the move alone won’t “fix” me?
I bring this up because the rampant use of the term has created its own insanity in my head. I have lived in the same area all my life, and I must tell you, that while it has many things going for it, outdoor recreation and good climate are definitely not among them. Being that my husband and I love the outdoors, love to ski, hike, love the ocean (and water in general), love the mountains, love eating healthfully, love the fit lifestyle…..it’s a stress, living in this area, when there have been so many others we have visited that resonate tremendously with us. And while economically it’s not practical for us to move right now, the discussion of moving to new surroundings is one that comes up often, even as we accept that it may or not be able to happen.
The problem is, DARN IT, these days I find myself constantly hearing this inner, cynical voice say, “Wouldn’t you just be pulling a geographic?” It plants a seed of doubt that we would get from the move what we’re seeking, so (again that inner cynic says) “Why not just stay here and content yourself with it? You have a comfortable life, your house payments not so bad, etc. Why put yourself into the distress of moving when so many are suffering the consequences of that very decision even as we speak?”
Understand, I have never been so recovered. Although I believe this will be an ongoing journey that lasts my whole life (and I’m excited about that, like a never-ending adventure), I honestly believe I have never before been in such a solid state of mind, a state of balance, whatever that means. If ever there was a time that a rational decision to move (or not) could be made, it’s now. I mean, to put it another way, when is it NOT “pulling a geographic”? When, in your recovery, do you hit that point in which you’re simply choosing to move, and yes, because you believe your life will be better as a result? Technically, isn’t that the basic definition of pulling a geographic? In that sense, outside of those who get a job transfer or are in the military, aren’t we all, in a sense, “pulling a geographic” when we move?
Food for thought. While I don’t want to think naively about what a move will or will not do for us, I also don’t want the concern of moving “for the wrong reason” to perpetually keep me in this state of “waiting.” I fear I’ll blink and my life will be at its end and I will regret not changing my horizon at least once, if only out of curiosity for what it would be like. I realize the opportunity to move may not even appear, and if so, this concern is moot. And I realize that I may come to a different sentiment; somehow change and appreciate our area more than what I think we would “get” for making a move. I just want to make sure I’m not shutting out possibilities of change and growth, simply out of this phantom concern for “pulling a geographic”!
Recovering Part-time Bulimic 