I recently heard this piece of advice on the subject of staying on path with recovery, the idea being that if you find your mind toying with picking up your addictive substance or behavior of choice, and you find yourself falling into the “trap” rationalization of “I’ll just have one” or “I’ll just do a little bit” or whatever…..that you “play the tape all the way through to the end” in your mind. What has happened every (or almost every) other time you have tried this?
I just love this! I’m finding it’s a great — if sobering — way to keep myself grounded in reality, and not in wishful or magical thinking. I’m also finding it a useful tool in other thought processes. Like, the other day, I was out for a run, and found myself feeling a bit self-conscious (sigh, some body image issues are tough to die) about my legs. Whereas they are normally very lean and muscular, if I’ve consumed too many carbs or too much sodium on a given day, I can see a “softening” to them the next day. Given that my legs have always been my best feature, this distresses me, which is ridiculous, I know, and for many reasons. But still, it does. I feel more timid when I go out for a run, like somehow the world is noticing the momentary change. I know, how self-centered can you get! But now I’m using the “play the tape” cue to walk myself out of that thinking. In the case of this run, while running I thought, “Gosh, I feel embarrassed about my legs.” Play the tape some more: Why? “Because they’re softer today as a result of yesterday’s carbs and sodium.” Play the tape some more: And? “And I feel like I don’t look as much like a runner to passing motorists and fellow pedestrians.” More tape: And? “And….well that doesn’t really matter, does it?” Still more tape: Anything else? “I can choose to make better food choices, such as reduce my sodium, which is probably better for my health, anyway, but more importantly, I need to stay focused on my work and being the person I was meant to be, which may include being at my personal fitness best, but thankfully does not include ‘being the most fit and buff runner people have ever seen.’ ”
Not the most impressive self-talk, perhaps, but it did change my thinking, so I’m calling it progress. I’m definitely adding this one to my tool bag!
Recovering Part-time Bulimic 